| sometimes when you try to fix something in your life you find more and more things that need to be changed and you had no idea that one was related to another. well im trying to work on things in my life but the more i try the more things just pop up. but i believe that i can change the way that i am.even though no one else believes i can do it because honestly ive been saying im going to change for soo long. and im finally starting to TRY...but its a hard process and i cant do it alone. well talk to you later. |
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| its been a while since i last wrote a blog and since that time ive
found myself in more trouble and more disappointments that ive faced in
the past couple of weeks then in my whole life and i am so thankful
that i have friends that i can talk to...and one of them told me that a
mistake is only considered a failure is you fail to learn from it and
that was the one thing that i needed to hear because not only did i
disappoint people this time i actually lost a "friend" over it and i
was being the hardest on myself. and that whole trying to find myself
without kyle in it is harder than i thought because i guess i thought i
was just going to wake up one mornind and i would be totally over kyle
and moved on and it doesnt happen like that ever! so i need your
prayers so that i can actually stay strong and not trip up this time
and love God with ALL my heart not just half. im learning to crawl
(another thing that my friend Jared told me; man he's smart)
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| Xanga
There are things that happen in this world that you just cant understand and wish you could change, right? yeah well one of those things has happened to me. i was going out with this guy for 3 years and we are off and on and id always thought that we would go back out...but then he tells me that he is moving to Illanois. So when he tells me that i feel like my heart has been torn out of my chest and steped on. Then i figure that the way to get over that faster is to fix myself, you know get a whole new life together without him in it. Then i find out in order to do what i want to do, its going to take about 10 months to get to the place that i want to be. So im depressed about all this and to really make things worse i feel like NO ONE believes in me. And all this has happened within 2 weeks. So ive got ALOT on top of my plate. |
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